They might be good-looking, but...
They might be good-looking, but... |
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God gave them looks, in many cases in conjunction with their surgeons,
but He didn't give them much else.
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go blank. You can't think too much or it doesn't work." -Paulina Porizkova |
less than $10,000 a day." -Linda Evangelista |
makeup gives me." -Tyra Banks |
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You know how this one will turn out Lindsay Lohan? The dumb thing about all the attention on this one is the fact that she's simply not that interesting, talented, or amazing. Drunk, on drugs, crashing her car, so on and so forth. One day you'll open the paper, or CNN.COM, and find out she's dead. You know how when you're really sick to your stomach, and it just won't
come out, sometimes it's a good idea to just will yourself to puke,
just to get it over with? Well, that's what it's like with Lohan. You just
know one day you'll be reading about her having crashed her car, or having
OD'd, or whatever the hell she does to kill herself. So it would be great
if she'd just get it over with. If you're not gonna fix yourself, then
just off yourself. Like Anna
Nicole Smith, why drag out the inevitable?
It's hilarious, watching Paula Abdul slur
her way through TV appearances. She's done it more
than once. It's even more fun listening to her denying it. But
when it comes down to it, at least she's finally entertaining. She was
a just a fat ex-choreographer with no singing ability, then she was juding
no-talent wannabes next to some British dickhead and a fat producer of
bad pop tunes. You never know where life's taking you. Then there's Samantha
Harris, co-host of "Dancing With the Stars." Completely vapid, she
actually in one episode gave away the judges' scores before those judges
actually produced those scores. She also muffed a line so bad that
no other human mouth could reproduce what
she said. How do I get one of these jobs?
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| Anna Nicole, your brain fell out the hole
Anna Nicole Smith was always a little batty. A one-time Playmate of the Year, she married a VERY VERY VERY old geezer who, who'da guessed, croaked. She fought his kids in court to keep tens of millions of dollars, but a wise judge saw the obvious motive in the marriage, and gave the money back to the kids. Anna Nicole ended up with her own show on the E! channel, in which she appeared as a braindead whale. See, she put on tons of weight, and turned into a total retard. THEN she got hooked up with a weight loss pill company (face it, it's just speed), dropped a load, but through either drugs, alcohol, oxygen deprivation, or just plain stupidity, remained dumb as ever. When those looks finally go, or the weight comes back on, it'll be really, really sad. In the meantime, it's like watching a car wreck in slow motion. February 2007: Sadly and predictably enough, she's dead. Gold-digging, hanging out with scumbags, gaining tons of weight, dropping tons of weight, pushing diet pills, doing drugs, drinking, plastic surgery, you NAME it, they all added up. Her son died the previous year from an overdose. You make your own luck in life, good and bad. And it just gets uglier. Her Lawyer, Howard K. Stern, says he's the father of her baby. A former boyfriend, Larry Birkhead, says HE is the father. And then, no shit, Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband says he's been banging Smith on the side for ten years, and HE may be the father. The South Carolina developer who reclaimed her house in the Bahamas is ANOTHER former boyfriend. Is there ANYBODY this chick wasn't doing? If these three guys are all claiming to be the dad (and what the hell,
the kid may yet inherit HALF A BILLION DOLLARS if her lawsuit against the
estate of the ancient oil tycoon she married goes through), and it's easy
enough to tell the truth through DNA, then all three must have a decent
shot at it, meaning ALL of them were getting a shot at it, if you know
what I mean. So in addition to gold-digging, hanging out with scumbags,
gaining tons of weight, dropping tons of weight, pushing diet pills, doing
drugs, drinking, and plastic surgery, we should include whoring around.
It all adds up.
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The black media have been quick to propagate this nonsense. Softpedia proclaimed "Hermes apologized to Oprah for the racial incident." Uh, no, they didn't. They apologized that they weren't able to accommodate a rich patron after hours, but have admitted to nothing racial. Blackamericaweb.com has also been rabid in pushing this as a racial incident. Oprah has done a lot of good things in her career for other people (after her show stopped being a tabloid trash-fest, that is), but crying "racism" where it doesn't exist doesn't help the world overcome REAL racism. This is a whiny rich chick who didn't get her way, that's all. Oprah also screwed up in defending a guy who
wrote a book that she promoted through her "book club." Turns out his true
memoir was all fiction. She essentially told the public that the truth
doesn't matter. Check
out this dirtbag's story.
Look out, Lindsay Lohan's packin' !!! Lindsay Lohan is a remarkably untalented, cute little thing who was charming as a child actress, but wholly useless as a grownup. Her starring movie roles have been flopped. Like a lotta decent looking chicks, she tries to be all-purpose, singing and acting, and sucking at all of them. The studio head in charge of her latest movie sent her an open letter, saying that her so-called exhaustion, which had led to her missing lots of shooting and costing them plenty of money, was really due to all her partying. After one alleged hospital visit, she was photographed the very next night on the town. She obviously doesn't aim very high. Check out the following quote: "It's so amazing seeing that one woman just going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who's basically a pinup, which is what I've always aspired to be." She aspires to be a pinup, a sex kitten. Holy shit! Lohan also says she would prepare for a trip to Iraq by taking shooting lessons with her security guard. Oh sure, they're gonna hand her a f***g gun when she gets off the plane. She wanted to hitch a ride with Hillary Clinton. A Clinton spokesperson suggested Lohan hook up with the USO instead. A week later, she started blabbing details of her sex life. Holy shit, isn’t there anybody in her family who can tell her to shut the hell up before she goes from having NO dignity into the land of NEGATIVE dignity? Lohan just keeps piling it on herself. After she kept becoming mysteriously
"ill" or "exhausted," a studio head lambasted her publicly, blaming her
bad health on heavy partying. She apparently got the message, but then
she admitted she was in AA, although she continued to get wasted. Should
anybody care? Just don't choke on your own vomit while on somebody else's
lawn. Kindly do it at home.
Should somebody care? Kate Hudson, daughter of the very washed-up
Goldie Hawn (wife of the very washed-up Kurt Russell) and ex-wife of the
super-dork singer for the Black Crowes (a band that shamelessly rips off
other bands), won a judgment against a tabloid for calling her "dangerously
thin." They would have been safer had they called her "dangeously untalented."
Every single one of her movies sucks rocks.
Here she comes, here comes Speed Racer Halle Berry ended up in hot water over splitting after an accident, was already known to her neighbors as a goofball behind the wheel. A TV producer who used to live near her says, "She was well-known in the neighborhood as Halle on Wheels or a Berry, Berry Bad Driver. She was a menace." Of course, now that she's won an Oscar, all is forgiven, right? One more quick note about Berry: she sucks at this acting thing.
After winning an Oscar that she didn't really deserve, she got all freaked
out on TV, crying and blubbering about the opportunities this would open
up for her and others, and she then proceeded to make a boatload of completely
crap movies. Catwoman?
Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes, the tattooed singer who once set fire to her boyfriend's house and did five years' probation, killed herself and busted up her passengers while doing 85 MPH on a Honduran highway. One of her assistants had earlier run over and killed a small Honduran boy. Sorry, not gonna miss 'er much. Lauren Hutton, 57, former model and actress, slid on gravel while riding her motorcycle at about 110 MPH. She slid almost 200 feet on her face and chest, shattering her arm and leg, and ending up with rods and screws stuck in her. She's gone back to riding.
But, but, but it made money Having an agent doesn't mean you avoid doing absolute shit Charlie's Angels (the movie) has some good looking chicks in it. But y'know what? It SUCKS. It sucks BAD. It's a BAD MOVIE. It's really, really bad. And you know what else? The second one is just as bad. What especially bugs me about it is that one-and-a-half of the women in those flicks are talented. Drew Barrymore can be funny when she wants to be (although she does her share of crap, like 50 First Dates). And Cameron Diaz has done stuff like Being John Malkovich, and Gangs of New York, to name a couple. Lucy Liu is a waste of space, and Demi Moore is long past worthless as an actress (and has had mixed success as a producer). Why do people in show biz insist on doing crap when they can do so much better? Sandra Bullock is a very lovely girl. But she does one crap movie after another. It's hard to name a good Bullock flick. Every single one of them sucks. She doesn't just need new management, she needs a new job. Nicole Kidman is another one. She's gorgeous, obviously smarter than her lunatic ex-husband, but even she managed to film Bewitched. Ouch. Julia Roberts won an Oscar, but that didn't stop her from making one of the worst, most cliche pieces of doo-doo ever, Mona Lisa Smile. Halle Berry got an undeserved Oscar, cried her brains out for
the cameras, then made one shit movie after another. If she's IN it, it
sucks, and she sucks IN it.
Slam dunk this chick Lisa Leslie, center for the LA Sparks women's basketball team, did the celeb version of Weakest Link. When asked "Which Roosevelt was elected president as a Republican?" she replied "JFK."
Skin it, skin it good Some of the same "supermodels" (as in Naomi Campbell) who previously
posed in the buff for anti-fur ads ("I'd rather go naked than wear
fur") are now back to wearing fur, because, hey, there's
money in it. Apparently their commitment wasn't as thick as their
skulls. Maybe if they ate more, they wouldn't be so light-headed.
Even more frightening is Joanie Laurer, who used to wrestle under the name Chyna. She used to be just a pumped-up, steroid-abusing lady fake wrestler. But now, holy crap. First of all, she's hideous now. I think some kind of plastic surgery gone bad. She appeared on Celebrity Boxing, and got smacked around by Joey Buttafuoco. Somehow a sex tape of her and her boyfriend accidentally ended up on the web, and it's reportedly disgusting. This same boyfriend later had her put in jail for beating him up. She ended up humiliating herself further on one of the celebrity reality shows, and fell completely apart on the Howard Stern show, where she did a striptease in front of her own brother.
Hey, my brain is naked !!!
Hometown bimboNoted Hollywood homewrecker Kate Capshaw was featured in American Airlines' May inflight magazine, describing the highlights of her hometown of St. Louis. It largely feels like she was fed the lines, although her take on the local sports scene sounds very much from her own bosom: If you're in St. Louis, you've got to go to a St. Louis Cardinals game. The Cardinals are awesome. They rock. I don't know how they are going to do this year, and I don't know how they did last year, but you've got to root for the Cardinals.
March '99, yet another goofy women's group hands out another goofy award. This one goes to Kathie Lee Gifford, for Mother of the Year. Up before the roosters, works on her show, tapes her show, attends various events (like going places where they give her awards), checks on the sweatshop, and then somewhere in there she sees her kids. Oh, but it's quality time, right?
Holy fat tire, Batman! Just saw a commercial for the odious "Dancing With the Stars" and there was Lisa Rinna, who as I understand it used to be on the soaps. I've seen pics of her before, when she'd already had some work done. But April 2007, there she is on my tube with lips as big as pancakes. Holy shit, soembody slap her surgeon. Whatever they hell they injected her with must've contained yeast or lard. Her lips are like shelves. I know these women like these pouty mouths, but she looks like she could give a B.J. to a blimp. Tyra Banks was so determined to prove people wrong when they
say she's got breast implants that she let an "expert" feel up her tits
on her TV show. In fact, she got all teary-eyed about it, as if she was
describing having been molested. Jesus Christ, I can't imagine how
somebody gets that damn insecure or stupid. January 2007, an unflattering
picture of her in a one-piece, showing some heft, got published all over
the place. Hey, shit happens.
GOLF BALL HEAD: Shaune Bagwell, ex-wife of baseball player Jeff
Bagwell, will do just about anything for money, including taking cash for
a temporary tattoo on her chest for Goldenpalace.com, and appearing on
the Howard Stern show. She took some of her divorce settlement and had
her mouth hideously redone, AND had massive cheek implants. She looks like
a squirrel with a mouthful of nuts. She's also sickeningly skinny.
I grew up on Heather Locklear. I can still remember when I first saw her on Eight is Enough. Even SHE got her face done, and she looks kinda sandblasted. Woe is me. Delta Burke, before she blew up like a zeppelin and then bitched her way off Designing Women, was actually quite beautiful. But now it's hard to tell. Dec 06, I caught her ont he tube while flipping channels. It's very clear, she's got those Chinese eyes of a face lift. The right side of her mouth seems droopy as well. And you can tell she had collagen stuffed into her lips, and badly, because her upper lip is now a chicken lip. Seriously, she's an alien creature now. The latest Hollywood chick who appears to have caved into the overwhelming temptation of plastic surgery is Meg Ryan. In plugging her (godawful crap) movie Against the Ropes (which is about a boxing promoter, and which will offend the intelligence of any boxing fan), the closeups revealed that she had something dreadful done to her face. She doesn't look natural anymore, and that was always her biggest draw. Madchen Amick was another one I always drooled after, starting when she was on Twin Peaks. But after watching her on ER, it's apparent she's had some procedures, and just doesn't look natural any more. Give Joan Rivers an Oscar, becaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaause .... most of her face is built out of the same stuff they make the stauettes from. She's one of the queen bees of plastic surgery, right along with Cher and Melanie Griffith. This frightening looking screech owl and her equally vacuous daughter will be haunting (literally) the red carpet again at the Academy Awards. If I gave two craps about any of those people, I'd suggest they arm themselves with aluminum bats as they pass her. But they all deserve each other. Joan Van Ark, now doing infomercials, has obviously had her head done. She looks like a freaking scarecrow now. Cher had a tendency to disappear every so often,
and
when she's resurface in a new movie or video, people would ask where she'd
been. The answer was, having more surgery. She's more plastic than cellphone.
She's also now being touted as the only female recording star to have a
number one single in four different decades. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A
couple of decent tunes written by somebody else, then some really bad pop
(Half-Breed, Gypsies Tramps & thieves), a crap dance tune which came
with what MTV itself called the worst video ever, and a crap disco tune
that owed more to over-production than her grating voice. This is
an accomplishment? This is called periodic resurfacing (and in the
case of Cher's face, that's a literal term) with a novelty song. Check
her out in the movie "Stuck on You." She looks like a frigging alien.
Paris Hilton said of her over-produced crap CD, “I, like, cry when I listen to it, because it’s so good.” And I, like, cry when I flip channels and accidentally hear her say anything at all. I, like, cry when I realize there are a lot of talented artists in the world, but this frigging bimbo is rich and famous for doing absolutely nothing except having a funky name, getting a nose job, and going down on a guy in video. No shame, no talent, no brains, no nothing. Hilton was signed by an ecologically-friendly accessories company that plants a tree for every product it sells. It asked Hilton to take a trip with them to Port-au-Prince, to plant a whole bunch of trees. When told that folks in Haiti speak French, she said "I wouldn't mind spending a few days there and the weekend in Paris." DOH! Asked to help in a burglary investigation, Hilton told police, "I'm
not that smart ..... I don't remember .... I forget stuff all the time."
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Even Her Dad Was a Better-Looking
Broad
Nancy Sinatra, she of the bizarre failed-surgery flat lips and complete tone-deafness, performed (if such a term counts here) in August '98 at the poorly-named House of Blues in Chicago. After her usual off-key warbling, she pronounced herself "rusty." Insert joke here. In all fairness, she never really could sing. Even her big hit, These Boots Were Made For Walkin', was more notable for feminist sentiment than any vocal talent. Posing nude for Playboy recently revealed the saggy skin to go with the saggy voice. Hey, there's always guest shots on the Howard Stern show. |
Jessica Simpson is
BRILLIANT. At first, she was just another bimbo with a lame singing career.
Her over-emoting version of Take My Breath Away ruined the song
for a lot of people who liked it twenty years ago. She'd also do the diva
thing, putting her palm up while closing her eyes, while singing the tune,
as if to show just how emotionally invested she was in it. It's a form
of self-parody, I think. MEANTIME, she and her equally talent-free (ex)husband,
Nick Lachey, from some nameless boy band (and they're never really bands,
just collections of dancing haircuts with embarrassingly choreographed
moves) got themselves a reality show. Whether or not she was really as
dumb as she sounded on the show, or he as shallow, it doesn't matter. It
made them both famous. Ultimately it did him no favors inthe career department,
but now she's in movies, has her own perfume, and so on. Nothing succeeds
like dying prematurely, or acting like a complete moron.
Britney Spears may not be able to sing a note, but she's gorgeous. When she wants to be. But most of the time she's a professional skank. Her backup dancer husband appeared to be a complete moron who was banging her while his previous woman was still carrying his previous child. The government actually let these two breed? She can't sing, and when she talks, sheer stupidity comes out. How dumb is SHE that she went for a guy who was fooling around on his pregnant girlfriend?
With Britney acting like a complete loon, getting wasted with Paris Hilton and prancing about sans underwear, it may actually be possible for her t o lose a custody battle with Kevin Federline. Who'da thunk it?
A useful quote from "Britney Spears," a quickie bio book by Jackie Robb: "For your best everyday Britney look, keep it simple: Start with matte foundation ..... reach for a light matching powder .... brush with a mauve or light pink blush. Line your eyes with a simple dark brown pencil .... Use brown-black mascara ... feminine and natural are the adjectives to remember when selecting eye shadow ..... For full Britney-bright lips, line yours with a pencil .... fill in with matte lipstick ... stick to lip gloss in a fresh, fun flavor .... Fresh, clean and natural is the way Britney likes to look everyday."
Keep it simple. Get up at 5 AM so
you can finish the routine above before you get on the school bus. But,
um, is five pounds of chemicals (tested on only the finest laboratory
rabbits) on your face really what you would call natural?
Besides that, nobody really thinks of Spears
as fresh or clean any longer. She's pretty much just skanky.
| Um ..... was Keith Richards
unavailable, maybe ?
January 2000, singer Melissa Etheridge revealed that the father of the children she is raising with her girlfriend is none other than solid citizen David "They won't let me have a guitar in jail" Crosby. It was apparently Crosby's wife's idea that he jerk off in a test tube and provide Etheridge with progeny genetically predisposed to rampant drug and alcohol abuse, as well a tendency to be just a plain old fat screwup. And now they're flogging the outing of the secret for publicity purposes. They didn't have to tell everybody, but if the secret's out, they certainly didn't have to go on Larry King and everybody else's venue to beat hell out of the subject. WHY in hell would she want everybody to know that the dad was a guy who looks like that and acts like that? |
Janet Jackson, another member of the
Second Generation Family Nose club, says it was hard making her album "Janet,"
because the subject matter was so personal, so painful, y'know, the usual
psycho-babble. She hints she might be a lesbian, she hints she might be
into S&M, she might be mentally ill. Those are hot buttons right now.
This hackneyed marketing nonsense was old over twenty years ago. It's not
therapy, it's product. Sorry, I don't buy it. It's another over-produced,
too-slick pop thing. Dance music. Just say NO to disco. But
here she is in March 2001, plugging her latest. And here she is on
Dave Letterman. And holy crap, she's had even more plastic surgery
in the meantime. Whose nose is it this
time, anyway? Was it donated from a cadaver, was it molded
out of polystyrene, was it cloned from a sheep? Whatever that thing
is, it ain't hers, and it's not the same one she had two years ago.
Musical noses, that's it, that's the game she's playing with her brother.
You
know the brother, the ghastly one.
January 2004: Now with a totally tasteless
stunt and in an effort to boost her sagging career, she's mucked up the
Super Bowl halftime. For the Correct Opinion on this mess, go
here.
Somebody, quick, spike her head
Toni Braxton helped
put on a memorably bad halftime show for Super Bowl XXXIV. After
turning in one of the worst possible lip-synching jobs ever seen on television,
she stood there, at the end of a totally forgettable song (highlighted
only by her failure to properly mouth words, something any teenager can
do, and also by the repeated wailing competition with Christine Aguilera),
with an unsmiling, smug look on her face, like she's just done something
great. Yeah, she frigging STOOD there, couldn't keep up with the
pre-recorded dreck, then couldn't SMILE.
Calling the kettle black
Madonna declared during a July 2000 visit to Britain, "My God, all you have is naked people in newspapers here! I mean, tits are everywhere!'' As correspondent William H. points out, this is an observation from a woman known for her conical metal bra, the torn fishnet tights and the externally worn undergarments and who published an X-rated book full of explicit naked photographs of herself.
Sept 2000, William H. also sent me this one: Joan Collins yesterday launched an attack on what she calls Britains' "ghastly TV". "I absolutely despair of British TV at the moment, I think it is just ghastly." She goes on to say that she would rather 'throw up' than watch much of Britains' 'gormless TV'. She further accuses several of the channels of spewing out 'mindless pap' and added: "It makes me sick to see naked people, those naked shows. It makes me absolutely despair of what children are watching." This from the woman whose career highlights were several trashy soap operas and forgettable soft porn films.
Um, yeah, okay, I guess
Xmas 2001, the manager for Destiny's Child,
a laughably overblown girl pop trio, put out multiple press releases, letting
the world know that the group was not breaking up after all. There
were sighs of relief all over, followed by much scratching of heads.
They could use some decent material
There are a lot of pop singers out there who are cute enough to look
at, and some of them can even carry a tune, but all they sing is crap.
They insist on writing their own songs, or in some cases they simply get
credit when their hip-hop producers sample an existing song and throw everybody's
name on it, essentially ripping off the original songwriters. Mariah
Carey, the Duff sisters, the Simpson sisters, Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears,
you name it, they all sing shit. In fact, Jennifer Lopez is always ont
he verge of being dumped by her record company, because her records don't
sell that well, and she's unbelievably costly to maintain.
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flies and death and stuff." -- Mariah Carey (allegedly) on viewing pictures of starving African children. Disclaimer: Actually, I've read plenty of bits suggesting that she never really said this. |
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| The first week of June '97, Farrah Fawcett was on the Letterman show.
Since Charlie's Angels came out when I was in high school, and was my absolute
favorite show (along with "The French Chef" and "Mass For Shut-Ins") I've
always worshipped her. She was in a preposterously bad Chevy Chase movie
(redundant, I know) just a couple of years ago, and still looked great.
But on Letterman, she was frigging ANOREXIC.
Her cheekbones were sticking out, her arms and legs were horribly thin, and she's obviously had the worst nose job in history. Since then, she's made other spectacularly batty appearances. With her skull bursting out of its skin and her schnozz shaved on the sides, it looks like she's sporting a bird beak. For crissakes, somebody FEED her. Lee Majors looks like he eats well, maybe he can send her some leftovers. |
Farrah in meatier times. |
| Jane Fonda has long been known
for her rampant stupidity. She takes quite literally the concept of "Say
something moronic now, you can always apologize later." She made a
jackass of herself as a propaganda tool of the Viet Cong back in the early
70's. She's claimed sensitivity to native Americans, but is a big fan of
the tomahawk chop during Braves games. She put out exercise and cookbooks
that violated basic rules of exercise and cooking, then admitted later
she didn't know what she was doing. The most recent brain cramp came
in April 1998, when she was forced to apologize for telling a U.N. group
that parts of Georgia resemble a Third World country. Specifically, she
said: "And it's what makes working in Georgia very interesting, because
we're like, in some ways, like some developing countries. I love Georgia.
I'm proud to be living there. But we have very special problems that some
of you can recognize that we're dealing with .... In the northern part
of Georgia, children are starving to death. People live in tar-paper shacks
with no indoor plumbing, and so forth."
Gov. Zell Miller (a native of the north Georgia mountains) replied: "[Your statement is ] simply ridiculous and reflects a prejudice I am shocked to learn you hold .... maybe the view from your penthouse apartment is not as clear as it needs to be .... Produce statistical evidence that one single child starved to death in this state last year. You went up to the U.N. and flapped your gums. Now produce the evidence." Ted finally had the brains to dump this bimbo. And as always they do, Fonda says that now she's doing the things she's always wanted, she's living her own life, blah blah blah. April 2005, she finally apologized (sorta) for her stint in North Vietnam during the war. Only 30+ years too late. |
Uhhhhhhh ...... duh. |
Whoopi Goldberg is actually kinda funny and thoughtful in real life.
She refuses to get a new nose or lips or hair. So why do her movies SUCK?
Thank Ja they only gave her Oscar-hosting duties for one year before realizing
what a mistake they made. She thought that cussing on network TV
was somehow hip, instead of just sophomoric.
| I swear to Jehovah, if I see Liz Taylor climb out of one more limo and get one more award for showing up someplace, I'm gonna summon Richard Burton from the dead just so he can ooze on her. | Robin Quivers is an untalented, fat, ugly kinda thing who's paid to laugh at Howard Stern's lame excuses for jokes. She's the Queen of the Lepers on his crap radio show. And yet she puts out an autobiography. I thought you were supposed to accomplish something to publish one of those. Or at least get caught. Only in America. |
| Memo to Demi Moore: Yeah, you look good. But you're wrong, a lot of people HAVE read "The Scarlet Letter." Obviously you aren't one of them, juding by your empty-headed comments and the shit movie version you did. In fact, I doubt you've read much of ANYTHING (including the reviews for Striptease and G.I. Jane and Charlies' Angels II). When they installed your boobs, lipo'd your ass, and did all that other work on you, you should've requested a cerebellum. Y'know, as long as they had you zippered open. Oh well, too late now. Next time, try the Cliff's Notes, at least. Ta-ta. |  |
